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One of the great misunderstandings about ADHD is the idea that everyone who has it must be a hyperactive extrovert who talks with their hands, makes friends with stray dogs, and starts 17 new hobbies before breakfast.
Now, to be fair, we can be like that—briefly. But the truth is, a huge number of ADHD’ers are actually introverts. Deep, cozy, people-are-fine-as-long-as-they’re-over-there introverts. But you wouldn’t know it. Because we’re also expert maskers.
Masking is basically what happens when our brains go, “Oh no, we’re in a social situation—better activate Party Mode.” So we turn it on. We become chatty, funny, animated—like human Labrador Retrievers with a minor caffeine addiction. People love us! We tell good stories! We make eye contact (for, like, four whole seconds)!
But here’s the part no one sees: after the interaction ends, we collapse like a deflated bounce house at a toddler birthday party. I’m not talking about needing a quiet moment and a cup of tea. No, I mean total system shutdown.
The ADHD introvert recovery ritual looks something like this:
- Curtains drawn like we’re in witness protection.
- Phone set to Do Not Disturb, possibly thrown across the room.
- Texts go unanswered until we can form full sentences again. This may take days.
- Meals consist of whatever can be eaten horizontally. Doritos are ideal.
- Head buried between two pillows like a sad, socially spent sandwich.
Meanwhile, our extroverted friends are texting “Let’s do it again soon!!” and we’re like, “Sure, right after I come out of this coma brought on by your cheerful energy.”
So next time you see a person with ADHD being the life of the party, just know: it’s not that we’re extroverts. It’s that we’re running on adrenaline, anxiety, and a vague fear of awkward silences. And we’re really going to need a nap afterward.
Preferably for three business days.