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Have you ever noticed how the English language is basically drunk? Like, it shows up late, wearing yesterday’s clothes, and just starts making stuff up. I mean, look at the letters e-a-r. Three harmless little letters that we read as the word “ear.” Should be simple, right? Wrong.
Just try adding them into other words. I mean, come on! Same three letters, completely different sounds. It’s like English went, “Consistency? Nah. Let’s play Mad Libs with phonics.”
So picture this: A mama bear with her baby bear sharing a pear, heart floating above them to signify the love between them. Adorable, right? Now toss in a lumberjack with a beard peeking out from behind a tree. Suddenly it’s not a love story, it’s a cautionary tale: “Fear the man with the beard that you hear, near your pear, dear bear.” (I added in some additional “e-a-r” combos. Did you notice?)
And that, my friends, is how you end up sounding like Dr. Seuss on a bender.