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I know folks tend to shrink back like startled armadillos when I mention how much I’ve always loved Shakespeare, but y’all clearly aren’t paying attention to the good stuff. Yes, some of the stories are long enough to require snacks and maybe an intermission nap, and sure, the comedies have jokes none of us are ever going to understand without a decoder ring, but the man gifted us with vocabulary that could spice up even a Walmart checkout line.
Just imagine working these into everyday conversation:
Coxcomb — vain man (perfect for anyone who spends more time fluffin’ his hair than doin’ anything useful)
Mooncalf — daydreamer/fool (basically me before lemon water kicks in)
Gudgeon — gullible person (the one who believes “it’ll only take ten minutes” to cut down a tree)
Maggot-pate — scatterbrain (which sounds like a medical condition I probably have)
Ratsbane — villain (the person who takes the last biscuit without announcing it)
And honestly, I don’t want to brag, but very, very few of you have the sheer delight of living with a man who invents his own vocabulary on the regular. How quaint that he and Shakespeare share the same name, William, proof that history repeats itself, especially in the form of questionable word choices and dramatic flair.
If the Bard could see us now, he’d probably call it a comedy. He wouldn’t be wrong.