Southern Double Speak

Though dyed-in-the-wool Westerners, we knew the Southern phrase “Bless your heart.” We knew it could be said with sincerity, but more often than not, it was dripping with sarcasm, and no one was actually blessing anyone. In fact, early in our migration to the South, an Alabama friend named Georgia (southerners really do love irony) explained it usually meant “God didn’t give you the sense He gave a rock!”

By now, we’ve lived here long enough to become fluent in the South’s many two-faced phrases. And among these, one phrase in particular stands out—especially for men.

If a Southern woman says, “I beg your pardon,” she’s not begging for anything. It’s delivered with that sweet Southern lilt—but don’t be fooled. Watch her face. If one eyebrow lifts, it is your one and only invitation to back up and re-phrase whatever you said that offended her southern sensibilities. If there’s no eyebrow lift, you’re already doomed. Keep your eye on the creeping red-purple flush rising from her neck. That genteel Southern lady is about to disappear—and in her place, a fire-breathing force of nature will deliver a tongue-lashing you won’t forget!